Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Sneaky Ginger

If i sound abnormally smug in this post, please excuse me, for i have just returned, triumphantly mite i add, from the gym. Feeling as angelic as i ever would, i march victoriously into the kitchen in search of my well-deserved snack. Dodging past the healthy options of fresh fruit or wheat biscuits, i reached for the elegant glass of mango jelly: cool and sugar-laddened beyond my wildest dream, possibly requiring me to 'powerwalk' on the treadmill for the rest of my life to burn off.

To my immense disapointment (read: v. pissed off), the mango jelly was not as it seemed. It was merely the inferior pineapple jelly disguised as mango. Had i known it was pineapple, i would have munched on dry, tasteless wheat biscuits.

And that's generally how it works in my mum's kitchen. Every item of food thinks itself an undercover agent.. in disguise as some delicious thing it could never be. And of all the suspects in my mum's kitchen, Ginger is, without doubt, the worse offender.

I hate ginger. Even if it touches the other food it still manages to leave its poisonous sting. See, if i were Sherlock Holmes, Ginger would be Dr. Moriarty... though perhaps our relationship is more akin to the me being Inspector Gadget, and Ginger as that evil dude with the cat. And my mum is ginger's number 1 accomplice. She would somehow mould the ginger into whatever form the food takes. Like if the dish is long slender pieces of chinese 'winter melon', the ginger will adopt a pale yellow colour and the same lengthen shape. If the dish is curried chicken with potatos, the ginger would cloak itself in the fragrant curry sauce and adopt the same assymetrical cut (and size) of the potatos. And when the unsuspecting victim (ie me) bites into it... bang! Ginger: one, Inspector Gadget: zero.

Perhaps its a lot of fuss i'm making over ginger. You mite say: "why dont you just double check before you bite into it?". To that, i reply: "why can't the ginger be more like this conspicuous bottle of green tea?"

Conspicuous Greentea Posted by Hello

But then again, if a giant piece of ginger gave me the peace sign, i dont really know what i would do. Maybe i'ld have to kung-fu its arse.


At 10:02 PM, Blogger Lyndon said...

Part of the Axis of Food Evil.

Other heinous edibles, Beetroot and Lycees :-)

At 1:41 AM, Blogger Sevenchild said...

With u with the beetroot Lyndon, but what's up with lychees? Love them to bits!

PS. After a sweet 23 years, I've found my favourite kitchen appliance (other than a knife *evil laugh*): a juicer. I've been juicing everything, and learning lots of cool thingos. For example, did u know a small bunch of grapes will make 350ml of *the* most ammmaaazing thirst quencher?

Then again, am such a grape fan. Roman-style.. *wink*

At 7:18 PM, Blogger JumpingPuddles said...

SevenChild: i dont think its the "roman" thing, i think its a "sour" thing :)

and yes, whilst lychees are amazingly delicious, they also give me pimples --> therefore, on the whole they are evil!


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