unbelievable

Went to oaks yesterday. this is the first year that i've ever really been to spring racing (i have been to derby once in my childhood but there were definitely no new frocks and daytime drinking involved). The day was great - the rain held off(largely bc i bought my brolly) and we spent the whole arvo drinking cheap champers and making snide bitchy comments abt skanky-16-year-old-girls outfits (or well, the boys were pretending to make snide remarks whilst perving on the said outfits and girls).

And what better way to end a lovely day than to storm off along from the bearbrass at 12am that nite. Perhaps i should explain myself. Remember Smarmy? the wanker-eque 'golden boy' at work. You know the type, one of those guys who waltzes around like he owns the place. After he got stupidly drunk (by skulling 3 or 4 long island ice teas with his bosses' best mate), i had stupidly ask him "are you ok?"

what a silly thing to do. he replied with "what is your problem?". i was shocked. But in light of my own drunkeness and i was also slightly amused and incredibly curious as to what he was going to say. I smiled, and suggested he should tell me what i problem is. "i'll tell you what i think of you..." he said, he seemed truely angry. At that point his mates came around and held him back, telling him to shut up. His mate O dragged him aside and they started to 'talk' - you know, 'man to man talk'. Another guy D suggested i should go and talk to Smarmy. D's gf (also a workmate) overheard and immediately piped "D, dont say that, are you stupid or something?". By that time i had realised that all of them (O, D and his gf J) all know exactly what Smarmy thought of me, and exactly what he was going to say.

I hate being in that kinda situation. The cliche of 'being left in the dark' when everyone else has been talking about you and knows exactly. I went up to Smarmy and O and said to Smarmy "i dont hate you, and i dont think i've been a bitch you to you. If you would like me to leave now i will. If it helps you, i will leave." Smarmy smiled and shook his head, in that "you dont get it way". His friend O said to me, not to worry and that its not about me, that smarmy has lots of 'other issues'. I told them both that he surely cannot say that he was going to 'tell me what my problem was' and then said that its not about me at all.

And then it gets weird. Smarmy lent over, and whispered in my ear "you know that if i could be with you right now, i would", he took my hand and kissed the back of it. That was then i decided i had enough and got up and left.

what a f-cker. what makes him think that he can let his 'other issues' out on me? Since my last blog incident involving smarmy i had hardly spoken 3 words to him. what makes him think that he can whisper ridiculous things in my ear. And to top things off - i have not had an apology today. Nothing, not even an email. From D and O, i have been told that he remembers nothing of last nite. surely. how lame. what a tosser.

i dont really know what to think or how to react. why do ppl think that its acceptable to take their frustrations out on me? what have i done to deserve this? surely i dont.