as ur life flashes before your eyes...

this week my mood has been erratic to say the least. Perhaps my good friend B's departure from work, my general demotivation, us moving house - its all proved too much. And for any of you who have moved, u will no doubt understand what a pain in the butt it is.

So today, instead of studying on my 'study leave day' - i have to pack my stuff up. By 'pack stuff' i really actually mean dispose of parts of the life which are largely redundant. It amazes me that for some reason i had though that old mickey mouse pencil cases full of half broken colouring pencils should be kept, as were my non-complete set of jurassic park swap cards. As i threw it out, i couldnt help but think that one day they may be worth something - either on ebay, or to myself. What i did keep (bc i do think it may be worth something one day) was an arthur andersen promotional puzzle which says "its the people you work with that really make the difference". Perhaps i can bring it out when one day they have a reunion?

And then i got to my box of memorabilia - ticket stubs to places i've been, bday cards and letters which dear friends of the past. its strange to have so much of ur past life flash before you eyes. to be reminded of days when what mattered was how cute the paper we wrote those little letters were, or the new and ingenius way it was folded, or how messy our handwriting was. when there was daily communication with highschool friends about the most mundane topics, when that little crush on that guy was so important (well, not that much has changed!) and when we all made so much effort to write something special in those xmas cards - and how we all meant it.

And of course, the ex-bf memorabilia - to remember what it was like when they said that they liked you too and how happy it made you feel and how geniune that smile shining out of those photos are. And of course, how it all came tumbling down. The strange thing was, i found a sealed envelope which had a maroon ribbon tied around it. the ribbon, i immediately recalled was from a bunch of flowers which my first 'proper' bf gave me, and in the envelope where the remenants of what and who we were. whilst i felt that it wasn the time to open it yet, its kinda nice to be reminded of the time that has passed.

a rather fitting reminder of what my life was and how deep inside, i'm still largely the same person. despte the changes and the complications, these happy memories and relationships bw friends and lovers still exist. and the most important thing is that such happy memories are still continually been built up.